The last time I was in Korea I believe I focused on Korean drivers. This trip my focus seems to be devoted to the commode... Not that I'm obsessed with toilets, mind you, but they seem to have it out for me this week. Toilets of every size and shape, and they all hate me.
The toilet in my hotel room is a combo toilet/bidet, which I've discovered is quite popular here now. My first night I decided to indulge and try it out. After pushing one button and experiencing the refreshing spray I sat waiting for it to end. And waited. And waited. So I pushed another button - big mistake. The seat started to get hot, so I pushed another button. Now the water was getting hot, very hot. So I started pushing a lot of buttons. I tried everything; I bailed off the seat, closed the lid, pushed more buttons, threw towels down on the floor, and started to swear. Obviously I was able to shut it off, but not without a bit of dampness and a slightly sore bum.
Most of the stalls are ridiculously small, requiring one to straddle the toilet to open and close the door. The controls of each toilet is different, from push buttons to levers, to dual control twist-push contraptions. Some of them sit for a moment before flushing, while others suck down so hard I fear for my wellbeing.
Today I was waiting for the tour bus and needed the restroom in the very fancy hotel lounge where we congregated. The ridiculously small stall again had a toilet/bidet combo but with English buttons. Halleleuah! It didn't work. Figures. Apparently I was in the stall too long while messing with the controls because the little shriveled lady attendant nearly pulled me out of the stall to clean it. Knowing the bus ride would be very long, I dashed into the restroom right before departure, choosing a different stall. Hey, this one worked! I'm sure I left the stall looking like a woman possessed - the temperature for both seat and water were set at boiling. I don't think I like these combo toilets so well.
During the tour we stopped at a gift shop and were told to use the restrooms as the drive back to Seoul would be non-stop. Thinking I'd outsmart the stall situation I headed for the handicapped facility, which was nice and big with a relatively normal toilet and hand rails. Too bad I didn't check out the handrail better before I sat down and began my business. As I tend to do, I grabbed the rail at the important moment and leaned to one side. Sheer panic at the thought of riding back to Seoul wet and smelling like...well, you get the point.
I've been here a week and although I do miss my son and my cats, I think at this moment I may miss my toilet most of all.
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