Full of Surprises

"Bird Girl #1"

As many of you know, I've entered the dating world at the ripe old age of 48. I won't say "re-entered" because my ex and I never actually dated, and my dating experience prior to marriage was pretty limited. This is a whole new world for me! One of the things that I'm finding very frustrating is that I absolutely detest it when people make assumptions about me based on looks, age, profession, or parenthood, which is so often the case.

I'm using the online dating sites because my chances of meeting someone - anyone - in my usual circles is virtually nil. I work in a building full of women or married men. There are two men who aren't married - both are half my age or younger. My off-work time is spent at the theatre where the men are all dating... each other. Prospects for finding Mr. Right, or even Mr. Right Now, are slim to none. A serious disadvantage to the dating sites is the "photo test". He asks for a photo, so I send the only current photo I have (the old photos are 90+ pounds ago and I don't look like that anymore). The average response is either complete silence or "oh, got the pic, you're not at all what I'm looking for". Ouch.

What these men see both in photo and real life is a mid-aged woman who is short, heavy, slightly frumpy looking; who is categorized as a clean, middle of the road, middle class woman who doesn't smoke, drink, or exercise. A competent administrative assistant without an education, who doesn't keep up on politics or read the newspaper, who eats the same thing for lunch every day at the office, and is never invited to party with the gang. Average, unexciting, and typically suburban.

What they don't see, what would probably shock the hell out of them, is what they don't take the time to find out:

• I don't exercise, and am rather soft, but I can't stand to be idle. I have to be doing something all the time, even if it is sketching during the movie, or in the meeting.


• I have more hobbies than the average person can name, and am game to learn to do anything.


• I got my first tattoo at age 45, and my second set of ear piercings at age 48.


• My taste in reading material - Harry Potter, Twilight, and The Works of John Keats are on my headboard. The DaVinci Code is on my desk at work. R rated Sci-Fi is on my PDA. And a stack of motorcycle magazines are on my studio workbench.


• I collect TV series on DVD, which I listen to while working in my studio.


• I did the ceramic tile and drywall repairs in my house by myself, and will be installing a new ceramic tile floor in my bathroom... by myself.


• When I water my garden each summer I like to wear my "Rock and Roll Forever" shirt, extra-short shorts, and dance to the music blasting through my iPod headphones.


• I will do anything for my family and my friends, and will always be there for them.


• I have a cat who plays fetch and freaks out when he thinks a dust bunny may attack.


• My favorite ice cream is sugar free chocolate chip mint, and like to eat it out of the tub.


• I love to walk through a quiet meadow shrouded in fog and a light rain.


• I smoked pot in high school... and later....


• I love all kinds of music, love dancing to it in my studio, listening to it while I work.


• I have a sense of humor, and can make my friends laugh and feel better about themselves when times are tough.


• I cry at every Hallmark commercial ever aired.


• My favorite movies are Nell, To Kill a Mockingbird, and Auntie Mame.


• I'm teaching myself Korean, American Sign Language, and SQL (computer programming language).


• I like gerbils, mice, and hedgehogs - but don't like anything that slithers.


• When I love - I love with my whole heart.

Now, please, don't think I'm whining or feeling sorry for myself because I got shot down yet again by a guy who couldn't look beyond the surface. I may be depressed for awhile, but the one thing I never lose sight of is hope. I know that some day, some guy will realize what a great catch I am and take that leap of faith. I may cry over my broken heart, blog about my loneliness, and occasionally bash men for being complete egocentric idiots ruled by their dick and not their brain - but I won't give up hope.

My apologies for the extra long post this evening. This just came to me as I was driving home from my voice lesson and had to get it down on paper - figuratively speaking. LOL Take care my friends, and know that I think of you and love you all.