Wise Words?

I've been meaning to start blogging again, especially after my accident.  I still plan to do a post summarizing life on crutches, just not tonight.  I have Christmas gifts to finish.  Ok, I have gifts to start and then finish.

Following are things I've said that I never thought I'd be saying, and whom to.  Please remember that the principal players are my son Nathan, and my cats Jack, Tripper, and Indiana.

• Jack, please don't eat the napkin.
• Jack, don't eat the paper towels.
• Ok, who knocked all of the pens off the table and hid them under the stove?
• Indiana, please don't lick the light bulb.
• Tripper, why did you shut off the bathroom light?  While I'm sitting on the toilet.  Now in the dark.
• Indiana, you're going to fall on your head.
• Jack, stop stealing the straws from my glass.
• Nathan, why did you draw on the wood floor in your bedroom?
• Tripper, dammit, now I know why you were named Tripper!  Stop running between my legs!
• Indiana, please don't lick the blanket.
• Tripper, please stop drooling on my suede shoe.
  
• Jack, you cannot sleep on my face, I don't care how loving you are.
• Nathan, please don't wear my boot socks.  Yes, I know they were in your drawer - that's because you sorted the laundry!
• Jack, please stop licking my hair.  I already showered.
• Tripper, get out of the sink.
• Indiana, stop sharpening your claws on my pants - while I'm wearing them!
• Nathan, why did you draw on your bedroom wall?  Oh, because I said don't draw on the floor.  Makes sense.
• Jack, please stop eating the tissue.