I've always believed in miracles. Not the larger than life miracles, but the miracles of everyday life. Babies, snowflakes, the smell of grass after a spring rain, the love of someone special, a best friend. Those are all miracles.
Some of you may think this is blasphemous, for which I apologize, but I think another miracle may have happened today. I'm afraid to hope, but I seem to be hoping anyway. I think the ex may have actually fixed this latest screw up of his, and removed me from the loan. I haven't heard from him, but the bank called me to sign some papers that will transfer the entire loan to him, and I'm out of it altogether. I have no idea what happened, and may never know, which I can live with. It's just such a relief that this may be over.
I'm afraid to hope, afraid to tell Nathan only to have both of our hopes dashed yet again. I will tell him, because my wonderful son asked me to promise that I would hold nothing back. I wanted to protect him, to make sure that he still loved his dad, and could respect his dad, for his sake, not for his dad's. My handsome, mature young man said that he wanted to know everything or he couldn't help me to work through all of this. He is truly my biggest miracle.
I can't thank my family and friends enough for their thoughts and prayers. It worked. Although the stress of this has affected my mental and physical health (I'm getting sick!), my heart is overflowing with love for everyone around me. I don't have the right words to express what I feel.
So... although I'm afraid to hope that this latest disaster of his may be over, I'm definitely not as worried as I was. Things are tight for us, but we'll make it through. Miracles are everywhere. Believe in them. I do.
Tuesday, September 27, 2011
Saturday, September 24, 2011
I Just Can't Believe What He's Done This Time!
So, where to begin? It's been quite awhile since my last blog post. Life has had it's usual ups and downs, good and bad, happy and sad. My mother's health issues, work stress, life with one teenager and 3 cats, latest theatre production, art projects, fabulous friends. I may have been frustrated at times, but life was finally starting to look really good again, for the most part. Invested in new phones for the kid and I, which of course comes with the new, higher, 2 year contract. My son is doing really well, and is still the hi-light of my life. Invested in an iPad - I know, I really didn't need it - but it is so freaking cool! And it's been very useful at work. A good friend whom I adore will be moving in with us, which will help with the house and the finances. Things are looking up. Or so I thought.
Then the ex-husband rears his ugly head, so to speak. Just before last night's show I opened to mail to find out that he has defaulted on a joint loan and the bank is coming after me. It was a Personal Line of Credit (PLC) that was in both of our names when we separated. The agreement was that he would pay it off over time, and in exchange I would pay off his dentist and Les Scwab bills right away. When we separated the PLC was under $2,400, and the payments were quite reasonable. It was the only bill he had to assume when we separated, I kept everything else.
Little did I know that he was making the minimum payments, and then continued to borrow on the damn thing until the balance was over $3,500. He changed the address but never took me off it, so he's been getting the notices and I was totally unaware. My fault for trusting him, I know. I also screwed up by not having it written into the divorce decree, which means I'm still liable for the entire balance. I don't have any funds, savings, or retirement left. I cashed out what little I had left to get our son through his senior year, which isn't cheap these days!
I honestly don't know what to do. I have 10 days to pay the current balance of $3,398 or it goes to collections and they garnish my wages. We're just squeaking by now between my job, my art, and what little freelance work I can pick up. Thus the room mate in hopes of making it through the winter without having to shut off the heat. There is no way we'll make it if they garnish my wages!
I debated whether to blog this or not. Am I being petty by putting this "out there" for everyone to read, just to get back at him? Probably. Am I frustrated beyond belief? Definitely. Am I astounded by that man's complete and total self-centered callousness? Absolutely. I wanted to be nice to him during the divorce and keep the petty details out of the decree, to set him up with anything he needed to get a place of his own, to make certain this his son didn't lose any respect for his dad.
Well, that attitude has certainly come back to bite me in the ass. He's sent me $50 since Christmas and then called me a heartless bitch when I got pissed because he isn't making any payments at all. He even refused to give the kid $30 for new shoes when he asked him this past week. He's telling everyone that he misses us both so much, and he's so depressed because, and I quote from his email, "was totally fucked by you last year" so he just hasn't been able to get a job. Excuse me? Even our son said I was being too nice to him considering all the crap he's pulled all these years! You know it's bad when your son tells you to take him to court.
I honestly don't know what I'm going to do. I'll try to see my lawyer this week, but I have a feeling she's just going to tell me I'm screwed. I don't know when I've been so scared. Our lives were finally getting back on track and both of us were happy. I've always known that man was selfish and jealous, he hated having to put our son's welfare ahead of his own. But I just didn't want to believe he would take it this far.
I am trying to focus on the positive things in my life. Nathan is the biggest one, but I also thank the Lord for my friends and family. My sister, whose love and support I cherish every single day. Larry, my brother. My extended family - Joe, Jim, Diane, Erica, Michelle, Kelly, Andrea, Jackie, Stacie, Kathy. Friends whom I appreciate more than they'll ever know - Cheryl, Jenny (she'll always be Jen to me), Laura, Jenn, Emily, Tyler & Laura, Mark, Kevin, Eun Hee, and so many others. Forgive me if I didn't include you in the list, but you'll always be in my heart. And of course, my 3 furry boys, whom I can always count on for a good laugh.
Ok, I promise the next post will be back to my positive, quirky view of life. And not so far between... probably. :-)
Then the ex-husband rears his ugly head, so to speak. Just before last night's show I opened to mail to find out that he has defaulted on a joint loan and the bank is coming after me. It was a Personal Line of Credit (PLC) that was in both of our names when we separated. The agreement was that he would pay it off over time, and in exchange I would pay off his dentist and Les Scwab bills right away. When we separated the PLC was under $2,400, and the payments were quite reasonable. It was the only bill he had to assume when we separated, I kept everything else.
Little did I know that he was making the minimum payments, and then continued to borrow on the damn thing until the balance was over $3,500. He changed the address but never took me off it, so he's been getting the notices and I was totally unaware. My fault for trusting him, I know. I also screwed up by not having it written into the divorce decree, which means I'm still liable for the entire balance. I don't have any funds, savings, or retirement left. I cashed out what little I had left to get our son through his senior year, which isn't cheap these days!
I honestly don't know what to do. I have 10 days to pay the current balance of $3,398 or it goes to collections and they garnish my wages. We're just squeaking by now between my job, my art, and what little freelance work I can pick up. Thus the room mate in hopes of making it through the winter without having to shut off the heat. There is no way we'll make it if they garnish my wages!
I debated whether to blog this or not. Am I being petty by putting this "out there" for everyone to read, just to get back at him? Probably. Am I frustrated beyond belief? Definitely. Am I astounded by that man's complete and total self-centered callousness? Absolutely. I wanted to be nice to him during the divorce and keep the petty details out of the decree, to set him up with anything he needed to get a place of his own, to make certain this his son didn't lose any respect for his dad.
Well, that attitude has certainly come back to bite me in the ass. He's sent me $50 since Christmas and then called me a heartless bitch when I got pissed because he isn't making any payments at all. He even refused to give the kid $30 for new shoes when he asked him this past week. He's telling everyone that he misses us both so much, and he's so depressed because, and I quote from his email, "was totally fucked by you last year" so he just hasn't been able to get a job. Excuse me? Even our son said I was being too nice to him considering all the crap he's pulled all these years! You know it's bad when your son tells you to take him to court.
I honestly don't know what I'm going to do. I'll try to see my lawyer this week, but I have a feeling she's just going to tell me I'm screwed. I don't know when I've been so scared. Our lives were finally getting back on track and both of us were happy. I've always known that man was selfish and jealous, he hated having to put our son's welfare ahead of his own. But I just didn't want to believe he would take it this far.
I am trying to focus on the positive things in my life. Nathan is the biggest one, but I also thank the Lord for my friends and family. My sister, whose love and support I cherish every single day. Larry, my brother. My extended family - Joe, Jim, Diane, Erica, Michelle, Kelly, Andrea, Jackie, Stacie, Kathy. Friends whom I appreciate more than they'll ever know - Cheryl, Jenny (she'll always be Jen to me), Laura, Jenn, Emily, Tyler & Laura, Mark, Kevin, Eun Hee, and so many others. Forgive me if I didn't include you in the list, but you'll always be in my heart. And of course, my 3 furry boys, whom I can always count on for a good laugh.
Ok, I promise the next post will be back to my positive, quirky view of life. And not so far between... probably. :-)
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