Learning to Walk

This past year has brought about a lot of changes for me; some of those changes have been very hard to handle. In many ways I feel as if I'm learning to walk again; as a metaphor for learning to live as a single woman, but also in the literal sense of learning that I CAN walk.

A few years ago I realized how tired I'd become of the phrase "I always wanted to do that". It took awhile to make the leap, but I managed to step out of my box and register for a watercolor class; it changed my life. It was actually a very hard thing to do, I'm not typically a "joiner", and am terribly insecure. That leap lead to another leap, and another, and another. At age 45 I got my first tattoo (so far). At age 46 I started voice lessons. At 47 I had bariatric surgery. At 48 I was divorced after 25 years of marriage.

During this past year, I had my first date in over 28 years, then my second date. I even had my heart broken a couple of times. Had a second set of ear piercings done. Bought and rode a bicycle for the first time in 32 years. And started walking. I may only be walking a mile or so at a time, but that is further than I've walked without stopping (or passing out) in over 20 years. What really surprises me, though, is that I can't wait to keep walking so I can start hiking.

Hiking is one of those "I always wanted to" things. I love nature, I love being in forrests, or on the coast. I find beauty in everything, and am awed by the miracle of life in any form. But to hike I had to learn to walk. The only thing missing from my life is someone to take that walk with me.

I've taken another step out of my box - I registered for a class in Tai Chi. Next term I'm hoping to find a dance class that will fit in my schedule. Dancing was another one of those loves that I physically couldn't do until recently. I may not be graceful, can't last an entire song yet, and I'm certainly not svelt, but I love to dance.

2010 was a year of changes, the year for me to learn to walk. 2011 will be the year I learn to hike, dance, ski, and whatever else I want to learn. I will continue to look for someone special to share these "firsts" with me; I have to believe that he's out there somewhere, just waiting for me to walk into his life.

"Tree Sketch"