8 days and counting...

I could probably say it's 7 days and counting since it's 9:30pm; this day is nearly over. My husband came with me today for my PAT (Pre-Admission Testing). 4 1/2 hrs of answering questions and waiting in tiny rooms.

First was the questions from OBC nurse #1, the official weigh-in, and schedule discussion. Then it was to conference room A for a class with the nurse case manager with 3 other patients scheduled for surgery on 2/2 and 2/4, followed by a shorter class by the actual surgeon. Back to the little exam rooms for individual meetings with the surgeon, we were the 4th room, so had to wait quite awhile.

Next, wait around some more for nurse #2, more questions, more paperwork, more instructions. Finally, off to NW Anesthesia to meet with the anesthesiologist. But first, more questions, more waiting, and an EKG. After a 5 min meeting with the anesthesiologist, we were finally free to go. Sheesh!

I report in to Sacred Heart at River Bend (the big new hospital complex) at 7am. Me? 7am? Oye. We park in lot S. S for surgery, makes sense. Although, the parking structure for River Bend Pavilion is C. Go figure. Anyway, we go to the 3rd floor entrance, marked SPA. The class was very disappointed to find out that SPA stands for Surgical Patient Admission. We were SO looking forward to the facial and pedicure. Surgery is scheduled for 10:10am. Not 10:00 or 10:15, mind you! If they can schedule surgeries that tightly, why can't your doctor's office? Surgery is supposed to take about an hour and a half, with another hour or so in recovery. Once back to my room, they expect you to be up walking within 2-4 hours. The days of a long hospital stay are officially over.

On the bright side, I was supposed to lose 15# to qualify for surgery -- I actually lost 22.5#. We also found out that they no longer use catheters, or pain medication on a strict schedule. Pain meds are on request only. There are no external stitches; the small incision sites are glued together.

This is definitely going to be an experience..... stay tuned....

14 days and counting...

It's official, my surgery date is Feb 4, 2009. I wasn't able to schedule it any later unless I was willing to wait another month or more. Now the hard work really starts, getting all the pre-op requirements done, tying up loose ends at work, opening a show, and keeping my nerves in check.

Occaisionally, I wonder what I'm about to do, and wonder if it really is the right thing for me.

When I get up after sitting for only 15 minutes and find that I can't walk because I've stiffened up, I realize it might be the right thing for me. When I continually send my family to fetch things for me because I'm always in pain, I know its the right thing for me. No matter how much this scares me, I know its the right thing to do, because I've worked very hard to have a life - now I deserve to live that life to its fullest.

There are a few problems to be worked out, such as coverage for a week or two at the theatre. And not having enough time off accumulated to cover more than a week of recuperation time, which will make for a short paycheck. We don't know if Fred will be going back to work in February. If he does, which we hope, then I'll need someone to shuttle me to and from the hospital, and to check on me periodically during the days.

So keep the prayers coming, and always keep the laughter going.

Oh, crap!

The old adage comes true again... be careful what you wish for.

My surgery is tentatively scheduled for Feb 2, but we're requesting it be put off for one week, to Feb 9, to accomodate work and personal schedules. I was notified at 4:30p today. Can we say short notice??? I'm not complaining, really, but it does suddenly make it very REAL.

Wish me luck, I have a root canal scheduled for tomorrow morning. Strangely enough, I'd rather have major surgery than a root canal. Mild claustrophobia, personal space bubble, all that stuff.

Prayers are appreciated, donations gladly accepted, and laughter required.

Freedom

A couple of weeks ago the leader of our support group asked us to think about our lives before surgery, and what we want our lives to be like after surgery. We were to use one word to describe each of these. My "before" word is complicated. Not because I have so much going on, with two jobs, theatre, family, art, life in general. My life is complicated because I'm busy, AND overweight. The physical and social limitations that obesity puts on your life complicates everything. Where I shop, where I park, what I wear, how long I can stand, where I can sit, are there stairs, will I fit in that aisle, how far I can walk. Weight affects everything I do.

My "after" word is very simple. What surgery means to me... is FREEDOM.

Renewed Hope

December was a tough month for me -- my husband was laid off just before Christmas, my surgery date seemed to be moving farther away, money kept getting tighter, and the loss of a favorite activity, all combined to make me feel pretty low. Work is becoming more stressful, but still manageable. And... I pigged out at Christmas, most certainly gaining back the 15 pounds I am required to lose. Welcome depression.

I should have known better. Yesterday I receive a call moving my required pre-surgery classes from February to January. Next week. I have to weigh in at the first class. Crap. Convinced I'm in serious trouble I rush to Curves and jump on the scale. Say what? I gained 1 pound? No way. I get off the scale and get back on. Yup, I'm still down 14 pounds from my first weigh in back in September. Cool.

Maybe life won't be so bad after all. Money is still extra tight, and will be until he finds a job. I'm hoping to make some extra cash selling paintings, cards, quilts, whatever I can. In the meantime, I have things to look forward to -- that's the best thing.

A New Year

As I toast to the new year I consider my life, who I've been, and who I want to be. I stopped making New Year's resolutions a few years ago; why set myself up for failure and disappointment before the new year even begins? Now, I make plans for the next year. Along with those plans, I always say a prayer of thanks for the good things that happened during the year we're leaving behind.

I do acknowledge the events of the year that were not so pleasant, such as a death in the family, financial difficulties, job changes. I refuse to focus on those events, though, because I think I have too much to be thankful for. A loving husband, a wonderful son, a good job with people who like and appreciate me, a place to be creative and the self-confidence to create.

2009 will be a year of changes, some small, some very big. Those changes occasionally make me nervous, but they don't frighten me. Changes only frighten you when you fail to find the good that comes from that change. Cliche silver linings, good from bad, all that stuff -- it really does mean something if you're willing to examine your life. Losing a family member hurts, but realizing the legacy they have left can enrich your future.

Toast your future, thank your past, live for today.

"Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is a gift - that's why its called the Present"