A Conversation with My Teenager

"Hey, Mom!"
"Hey, son!"
"Can I print a couple things out on your computer?"
"No, but you can print a couple things out on my printer."
"Thanks, 'cause I found this great graphic... what's so funny?"
"Never mind."
"There was this committee at school who picked 20 kids, and I don't know why, but they are giving away these scholarships to 20 kids who are like needy, well not really 'needy', but you know. So these teachers got together and picked these 20 kids to apply for this scholarship for like $6,000 or something."
"Okaaaay."
"Ya, they don't really look at the GPA, I mean they do but it's ok if you have like a 2.0 GPA. They look at other things. So, ya, they've picked these 20 kids to apply."
"Okaaaay."
"So I don't know why they picked me, but I guess they did."
"Well, don't look a gift horse in the mouth."
"Well, ya, I mean... what? What does that even mean?"
"It's an expression."
"Well, its a bad expression."
"That's what you said when you were five."
"And it's still a bad expression."
"So, you were picked to apply for the scholarship?"
"Uh, ya, that's what I said. So I still don't know why they picked me."
"Because you're really smart, you just don't test well, and maybe your teachers see that."
"Uh, I doubt that."
"Uh, say 'thank you, Mom'."
"Thank you, Mom, but I still don't see why they'd pick me, but I have this paper to fill out and submit to the committee I guess."
"Is that the paper you waived in front of my face and didn't let me read."
"Uh, ya. But I'm still not sure what..."
"Nathan."
"Mom?"
"Say 'I love you, Mom'."
"I love you, Mom."
"Say 'good-night, Mom'."
"Good-night, Mom."
"Say 'I'm going to clean my room tomorrow, Mom'."
"Ya, right, Mom."
"It was worth a try."