Why Me?

My washing machine won't spin.
My filling crumbled and my tooth is killing me.
My studio headphones broke.
My ex hasn't paid me a dime since December.
My shed is full of bees.
My dryer vent hose is ripped.
My cats have worms.  Eeewww.
My bank balance is $1.
My love life is even less.

Shit.

Damn good thing I still have my sense of humor!

Coming Home to Paint

It has been too long since I last painted.  I created this watercolor over the span of just a couple evenings this week at the request of a dear friend who once asked me to draw her a pair of shoes.  While researching stock photos I came across these killer red shoes which appealed to me not only for their bright color and high polished reflections, but because I'd LOVE to own them!  While painting I noticed something - I was happy.  It's been far too long since I felt that particular brand of happiness. 

Separation, divorce, financial issues, a death in the family, the stresses of work and a second job, becoming a single parent, living on my own for the first time in my life, dating at my age.  The drama of everyday living.  It's been a tough year for my son and I, we've had a lot to deal with.  Life hasn't been easy.  But after I dug out my watercolors, dusted off my pallet, and finally made that first brush stroke I felt like I'd come home - at last.  I rediscovered a part of me that's been neglected of late.  I may draw during meetings on a pad of recycled paper with a mechanical pencil, but it just isn't the same.

Paint is a balm to my soul.  An expression of my heart.  A joy I'd forgotten.  I may never sell a single painting, but it isn't going to stop me from creating them.  I've learned my lesson - I don't just like to paint, I NEED to paint.  To be me.

I hope you like my newest work, a simple little painting for a sweet friend -

"Laura's Red Shoes"

Personal Definitions

My Personal Definitions Of...

• Distraction - leaving the house with your Mickey Mouse slippers on.
• Panic - when your teenage son says "Mom, we need to talk".
• Happiness - 30 lbs of furry love... with claws.
• Terror - your tax preparer leaves you a voice mail saying "Call me.  Today."
• Anti-Depressants - watercolors and sunshine.
• Aerobics - housework... with 30 lbs of furry love and claws.
• Grace - turning a corner in heels without falling over.
• Old - I don't know, I'll always be too young to be old.

Perfect Sense

Do these make sense to you?

You find your son asleep on the couch so you wake him up and tell him to go to bed.

Turning down the car radio to see the street signs better.

Cutting your hair to make it grow.

Swatting your kid on the butt, telling them "We don't hit people!"

Telling your kid that we don't ever tell lies, then telling him that Santa Claus is real.

Think about it... what else have we said or done that made sense at the time, but in hindsight... LOL

I Give....

Having just had a birthday, I've been thinking a lot about my life.  So what else is new, you ask?  I've decided that with age comes wisdom (I hope), and there a few things I'm simply going to give up on - I'm done worrying about them, and shooting for goals that will never be within my grasp.  Not in a "my life is so depressing" sort of way, but more of a "face the facts" attitude.  These items aren't the end of the world, just a few things I'm taking off my wish list for the future.  

If you don't agree, don't approve, or just don't want to know... don't read.  It's all ok in the grand scheme of things.

I'm giving up on....
1. Being skinny - it just ain't gonna happen, I'm not built that way.
2. Understanding geometry - when I see a square or triangle all I can think of is "Oh, wouldn't that be pretty in bright colors?"
3. A balanced check book - I believe the banks are messing with me.
4. Aging backwards - I don't feel a year older so why can't I just not be?
5. Remembering my friend's birthdays ON their birthday, not the day after!
6. Dating - until someone can waive a magic wand and make items 1 and 4 happen, I give up.  I'm totally fucked.
7. Being the "party girl" - I'm not the type that my single friends think to invite out.  I still love my friends very much, it's just the way I'm viewed.  S'okay.
8. Wearing a bikini - in public.  Or even a bathing suit, for that matter.
9. A week each in Hawaii, Samoa, and Thailand.  A week anywhere that isn't here.  Either with my sister, or my handsome lover.
10. Time - there simply isn't enough time to do all the things I want to do each and every day.  So I need to give up some, and prioritize the others.  And move on.

Just a few thoughts... still not too sure wisdom does come with age, but introspection sure does!  LOL

Words of Wisdom - part 1

• Never eat beans before your Tai Chi class.
• Always remember that when you ask everyone, "How are you?" - some of them might tell you the truth.
• The worst words a mom can ever hear are "Mom, we need to talk."
• The funniest thing in the world... is the world.  You just have to look for it.
• Family is important, good friends are vital, but good hot sex can cure whatever ails ya'.
• Remember to turn down the car radio so you can see the street signs better.  Really.
• Anyone can dance - but not everyone wants to see you dance in the nude.
• My child, regardless of his age, will always be my child.  With my sense of humor.
• Smile and remember that even on your worst day, it could be even worse... you could have missed reading my blog!

I Can't Believe I Said That!

Before I became a parent, there are certain things that I never, ever, thought I would say...

• "Get out of the dishwasher!"
• "No, fish don't play with legos."
• "Honey, why are all the heads of your action figures stacked in the corner like a head-hunter's totem pole?"
• "No, sweetie, I don't think the piano would look better in green."
• "Get out of the dryer!"
• "Ummm... thank you, honey.  I'm sure my coffee did need an entire cup of sugar to make it taste better."
• "Please stop putting the remote in my Dr. Pepper."
• "Get out of the freezer!"
• "Why did draw on your wood floor with permanent markers?"

17 year later... very little surprises me now.  I've learned that anything can come out of my mouth!