Have I Hit My Limit?

That's a question I've asked myself a few times of late... what's my limit?  How much more can I handle?  At the end of a really hellish week at work, filled with depression, hurt feelings, and frustration; my mother goes to the emergency room twice, then is admitted to the hospital with pneumonia; my debit card is hacked, cancelled, and my checking account cleaned out; and I had yet another disappointing, depressing first date.

It was one of those weeks that can only be summed up by one word - shit.

Mom will be in the hospital for a few days, but my sister is optimistic that they'll be able to clear up the pneumonia and send her home.  Her health is rapidly declining, but she's bounced back before, so we can only pray that she does so again.  I'll be going up to take care of her for a few days in 2 weeks.  My sister is great about keeping me updated on her, just in case I need to head up there quickly.

My debit card was hacked, and the bank cancelled it automatically as soon as they detected it, but my checking out was drained anyway.  It's a weekend, so I can't get ahold of anyone, but I'm confident I'll get the money back at some point.  Unfortunately, it usually takes 60-90 days for resolution, and I don't get paid again until June 1.  My savings account wasn't touched so I do have some "emergency funds" to use.  What really stinks is that I'd saved up 75% of the new washer cost and would have paid it in full when the bill comes in a couple of weeks.  Things are going to be very tight this month for Nathan and I, but we'll survive - we always do.

So, tomorrow starts a new week.  Selling stuff on Craigslist.  Making new cards to sell.  Re-working the budget.  Finding new ways to deal with work stress, if possible, or looking for a different job.  Doing whatever it takes.  Today, I plan on dressing up, closing the current show, then enjoying myself at the cast party afterwards.  Tomorrow will come soon enough.

Have I hit my limit?  No, not yet.  With the support of my sister and my friends, I'll be okay.  Not sure I'll ever date again, but I'll be okay.  Limits that moderate our behavior are good.  Limits that prevent us from growing, learning, or expanding our universe are not.  Weeks such as this force me to see my "limit" as something fluid - something I can push farther away with effort.  I can remind myself that the only person setting these limits is me.